piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
