I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
