Cold hands, warm shart.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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