Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize