I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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