i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize