If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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