Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
