P.S. I can't hear my feet
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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