I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
