Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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