And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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