i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
