We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
