It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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