made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize