WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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