my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
