i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize