Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
