New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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