Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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