8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize