Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box

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(303): View more from Colorado

I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.

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(631): View more from New York

life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

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(406): View more from Montana

Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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(440): View more from Ohio

He called his prostate his "boner button".

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her

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