Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize