have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
