Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Boobs speak an international language.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
