fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize