Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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