and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
