Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
