the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
