Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize