I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Two words: nipple clamps
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
