i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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