If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
