You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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