If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
