We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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