All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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