yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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