I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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