i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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