No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
