I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
