i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
