No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
