We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
