I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
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You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
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After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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