She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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