It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
