I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
