found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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