Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
