its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
