Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
