Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
