ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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