Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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